Friday, October 1, 2004

a quickie

Hello, everyone.

I'm sorry so much time is passing between updates these days. The last few weeks have been utter madness at work, and I have only been able to make it to the hospital for short visits in the evening every two or three days. It makes me crazy, being away from my babies, but there hasn't been any choice lately, and I've had to press on the brave face and pretend it fits.

Jeremy's progress is achingly slow, but right on track. Things are good - blood levels continue to climb, and we're down to one antibiotic (from the previous buffet) and off the morphine completely. He's taking Methadone for the withdrawal symptoms, but so far, thankfully, they only manifest themselves in general grouchiness and a little nausea. Almost all signs of the mucousitis have disappeared, which means that he feels much better, and the elevation of his mood is significant, while being slightly offset by the aforementioned morphine withdrawal and the big doses of steroids he's been receiving. Still, seeing him smile and laugh and play again, seeing him begin to eat again, act the part of a normal healthy baby again, brings me such great joy that I have absolutely no basis for comparison.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers. One of these days, I'm gonna drive to every one of your homes and personally administer much-deserved hugs, despite the protests of your unsuspecting spouses.

Meanwhile, Holly and I celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary this week. My father, kindly gentleman that he is, allowed us an entire night on our own. Holly got to visit our actual house, which she hasn't been able to do for almost six weeks now, and to witness firsthand the full extent of my startling domestic skills. I took it as a good sign that, immediately following her statement that the place was "spotless, holy crap", she totally jumped my bones.

Boy, that house sucks without them. I find myself listening to loud music almost every second I'm there now, in an attempt to diffuse some of the emptiness. Lately I've been stuck on The Glands' eponymous record from several years ago; it's excellent, and I've been positively wearing the grooves off it (the vinyl version is five or six tracks richer than the CD version, and ordered differently, and far superior, in my own little opinion, but it's a great album regardless, and if you've never had the pleasure, then get thee to Best Buy or wherever, 'cause life is filled with uncertainty, and this is one of those rare guarantees). Has just the right flavor of melancholy exuberance that seems to perfectly soundtrack my life these days. I want to be blissfully happy about every piece of good news, just jump up and down, to do donuts in the clown car 'til the wheels come off, but I can't completely let go and revel in my joy for fear of the backlash of bad luck I'd surely cause.

But hey - if that's the worst part of the fight right now, then hallelujah.

PS, folks - if you're interested in keeping closer tabs on the progress of our little heavyweight than a layabout such as myself provides, then check out Holly's hospital weblog, which she pretty much updates daily. She also knows lots of medical terminology that makes my face go all frowny. (No pictures of her, tho, unfortunately...)